A Biphobe’s Guide to Bisexuality

Bisexuality is one of the most oddly contested LGBT+ identities. Despite the fact that the rate of self-reported bisexuals is on the rise, and the fact that there’s evidence that bisexuality has existed for almost as long as we’ve been recording history, there’s still a massive amount of biphobic individuals. The recent case of Amber Herd’s allegations of abuse toward Johnny Depp has once again thrust the very concept of bisexuality (and the prevalent practice of biphobia) back into the public eye. In response, I have gathered a short list of facts about bisexuality in order to educate, and possibly reduce, the vast number of people who identify as biphobic.

For the purposes of this article and brevity, I will be using the term “bisexuality” and “bisexual people” to refer to both bisexual and biromantic individuals. I am in no way implying that biromantic people do not exist.

  • Bisexual people are not more likely to cheat any more than heterosexual or gay people are likely to cheat. Bisexual people are simply attracted to multiple genders. They have no more desire or need to cheat than the people who only date one gender. If you feel as if your bisexual partner is not capable of being satisfied with just you, that’s a personal issue with your relationship, not with their identity. There are many other options available that don’t involve stigmatizing and stereotyping an entire group of people based on a personal sense of inadequacy, such as communication and, perhaps, separation.
  • Bisexual people are not gay or straight depending on their partner. They are bisexual based on their own feelings of attraction and self-identification. How an individual identifies personally is not affected by who they are currently dating, similar to how widowers and single people are not automatically asexual or aromantic because they aren’t currently in a relationship.
  • Bisexual people don’t have to “pick a side.” There are no sides, and even in the hypothetical situation where various monosexual groups decided to wage war on each other, bisexual people wouldn’t have to “pick a side,” because bisexuality is its own identity and therefore they would have their own armada in which they could enlist if they so chose.
  • Bisexual people are not bisexual for other people’s personal sexual satisfaction. They are bisexual for their own personal sense of satisfaction, which does not include you unless they decide to do so. This is true whether or not you are in a relationship with them. Dating a bisexual does not include a season pass to a threesome. Your voyeurism and sense of entitlement is your own problem that, once again, you should communicate about with your partner in explicit, certain terms so that they can come to their own decision as to whether or not they should continue a relationship with you.
  • Bisexuality is no more of a phase than any other sexuality, especially no more so than heterosexuality. If you feel the desire to comment on someone’s personal identity and believe it to be a phase, consider first how you would feel if someone implied that your personal sense of love and sexuality was considered a phase and therefore not legitimate or real. Then after careful consideration, if you still feel the need to comment, remove yourself from that person’s life.

I hope this brief guide can be of some use. You are free to share this with the biphobic individuals in your life, in the hope that they can develop a more considerate and wholesome lifestyle choice.

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